at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize