I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Someone came in the potted fern
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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