It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
