Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
