From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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