i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
