forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
