No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
