He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
