Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this boner is exhausting
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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