Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
