Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
