How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
third nipple confirmed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
