my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
