My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
