Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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