Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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