Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You smell like stripper and shame
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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