What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
