ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it's like iHOP with fire
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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