Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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