Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
