I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
