im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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