Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
