i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
