this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
