I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
