Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
