these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
