i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
