someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize