I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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