I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize