kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she peed on how many people?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
