You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
