how can u be prego again
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
