New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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