I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
