I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
