All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
