did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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