cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize