Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
