So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
