If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
