oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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