i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize