escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
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Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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