You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
