they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
