you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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