Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

North Korea, Best Korea!

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(307): North Korea, Best Korea! http://tfl.nu/xg9r

Replies (11) Good night (955) Bad night (710)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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(810): Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it. http://tfl.nu/lg31

Replies (8) Good night (556) Bad night (1488)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

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(720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. http://tfl.nu/zmkv

Replies (44) Good night (8494) Bad night (966)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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(551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz

Replies (51) Good night (6035) Bad night (709)
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(540): View more from Virginia

First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.

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(540): First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete. http://tfl.nu/s0lg

Replies (22) Good night (5101) Bad night (976)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."

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(404): He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on." http://tfl.nu/t6j5

Replies (2) Good night (5006) Bad night (776)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Because we had sex in one.

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(919): Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory? (1-919): Because we had sex in one. http://tfl.nu/y2am

Replies (7) Good night (5655) Bad night (911)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.

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(814): I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups. http://tfl.nu/oj47

Replies (13) Good night (3521) Bad night (1076)
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(239): View more from Florida

MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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(239): MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned. http://tfl.nu/x1yo

Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (2552)
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(925): View more from California

it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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(925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn

Replies (10) Good night (1164) Bad night (1866)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.

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(802): I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn. http://tfl.nu/9nsq

Replies (11) Good night (1826) Bad night (593)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.

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(412): Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster. http://tfl.nu/q387

Replies (6) Good night (913) Bad night (436)
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(516): View more from New York

Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

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(516): Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN. http://tfl.nu/0bkl

Replies (11) Good night (1282) Bad night (270)
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(718): View more from New York

Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.

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(718): Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them. http://tfl.nu/ft83

Replies (4) Good night (474) Bad night (213)
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(226): View more from Ontario

You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF

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(226): You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF http://tfl.nu/pq8j

Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (249)

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