WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
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ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.