Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

1:57 a.m. Where did you go???

(586): View more from Michigan

1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?

(586): View more from Michigan

2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?

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(586): 1:57 a.m. Where did you go??? (586): 1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding? (586): 2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in? http://tfl.nu/vrje

Replies (33) Good night (1495) Bad night (8792)
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(917): View more from New York City

Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

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(917): Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries. http://tfl.nu/38u7

Replies (10) Good night (975) Bad night (3151)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.

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(781): The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over. http://tfl.nu/6slb

Replies (18) Good night (547) Bad night (4407)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you

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(720): Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you http://tfl.nu/jkt1

Replies (20) Good night (5053) Bad night (1026)
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(509): View more from Washington

I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.

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(509): I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact. http://tfl.nu/tkeu

Replies (35) Good night (1190) Bad night (3959)
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(303): View more from Colorado

He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.

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(303): He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal. http://tfl.nu/7xt6

Replies (9) Good night (2951) Bad night (1019)
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(714): View more from California

I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.

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(714): I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year. http://tfl.nu/qsqv

Replies (9) Good night (2130) Bad night (1513)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

(1-334): View more from Alabama

Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

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(334): I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does. (1-334): Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers. http://tfl.nu/3563

Replies (22) Good night (4679) Bad night (819)
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(281): View more from Texas

I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..

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(281): I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy.. http://tfl.nu/39a9

Replies (12) Good night (3052) Bad night (610)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.

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(337): The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe. http://tfl.nu/7igq

Replies (11) Good night (2948) Bad night (623)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.

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(724): I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror. http://tfl.nu/s26b

Replies (19) Good night (454) Bad night (1301)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????

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(708): I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY???? http://tfl.nu/05jz

Replies (7) Good night (1377) Bad night (353)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is

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(804): Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is http://tfl.nu/zc14

Replies (2) Good night (1214) Bad night (500)
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(714): View more from California

Not my type, but the penis looks fun.

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(714): Not my type, but the penis looks fun. http://tfl.nu/qaqx

Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (258)
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(917): View more from New York City

She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

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(917): She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them http://tfl.nu/qyhd

Replies (13) Good night (373) Bad night (689)

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