You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
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i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.