Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

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(203): I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus. http://tfl.nu/scm8

Replies (17) Good night (7649) Bad night (1188)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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(832): Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank. http://tfl.nu/gxu8

Replies (10) Good night (5153) Bad night (1099)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

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(703): I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them. http://tfl.nu/kulz

Replies (24) Good night (928) Bad night (3685)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass

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(508): Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass http://tfl.nu/5gce

Replies (26) Good night (4116) Bad night (1130)
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(904): View more from Florida

He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

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(904): He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him. http://tfl.nu/bmxc

Replies (23) Good night (1170) Bad night (2907)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.

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(610): Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss. http://tfl.nu/sd0l

Replies (11) Good night (4751) Bad night (838)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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(717): at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea?? http://tfl.nu/j9re

Replies (9) Good night (2244) Bad night (1078)
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(207): View more from Maine

No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.

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(207): No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/mlps

Replies (14) Good night (1390) Bad night (3921)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...

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(570): He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on... http://tfl.nu/xr5e

Replies (12) Good night (2332) Bad night (1059)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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(703): I've been living off of popsicles and broth. http://tfl.nu/8x3l

Replies (6) Good night (1079) Bad night (1678)
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(806): View more from Texas

Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.

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(806): Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again. http://tfl.nu/oiv0

Replies (5) Good night (1250) Bad night (652)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....

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(734): Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters..... http://tfl.nu/8dbk

Replies (5) Good night (1823) Bad night (677)
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(407): View more from Florida

How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color

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(407): How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color http://tfl.nu/2fci

Replies (26) Good night (648) Bad night (2124)
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(442): View more from California

Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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(442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8

Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (1221)
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(773): View more from Illinois

In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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(773): In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month http://tfl.nu/vo21

Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (260)

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