I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
