i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.