I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm getting married
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??