she was so not down for the gang bang
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Holy sore nipples Batman
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
