Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Who wears a wallet chain?!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is Oprah even human
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize