I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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