he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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