Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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