i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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