I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Even my vagina gasped.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
