This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
