the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
