whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
