Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
